Dark side made me do it

Dark side made me do it

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

that little devil inside my head

The last month things have been up and down, sure I was have a few problems with the food thing. But I got that under control. I now have control of the food and I am no longer constantly thinking about bad food. I finally got to the point where I was feeling awesome. I forgot that I am always the biggest guy in the room. Then today on the bus I was listening to my music when I got a text and the music stopped. That is when I heard what the group of teenage girls at the back of the were talking about. They were mooing and making fun of my weight. So I turn my music back on and tried to forget about it. The bus trip felt like it was taking forever, and that is when that little devil inside my head showed up, I call him fat Brian, he started to talk and he never says anything good. So I start picking on myself, picking out all my flaws. I felt so fat. As I came to my stop, I was not in a very good place. I got off the bus grabbed my preworkout sub head to the park to eat it. Then off to the gym.

I started my workout, tonight’s workout was mostly on the treadmill, as I walked on the treadmill I start to think of all my accomplishments in the last year. The more I walked the better I felt about myself. Now after an hour of really pushing myself, I was feeling good but not there just yet. After an hour I hopped off the treadmill to clean it and Jen and Shaimaa came into the cardio room and said come on Brian get back on for another 30mins with us. Now I am soaking wet, from the amount of sweat. I roll my eyes, and got back on the treadmill, now they did not know what happen on the bus, nor did they know I was not feeling awesome yet. But that last 30mins did it. I started to feel awesome again. I powered through that last 30mins and I got off that treadmill feeling awesome. Funny how your friends jump in and help you with your head, even when they don’t have any idea you are not in a great place. This is why I love going to alive! The people there rock!!!

So yes if you see me getting off the treadmill and you say walk another 30mins with me, I will never say no. I may roll my eyes, but I will get back on and walk with you another 30mins! Thank you Jen and Shaimaa for pushing me tonight past my comfort zone!

1 comment:

  1. Those girls only felt the need to say stuff because of how they felt about themselves, low self confidence. They are bullies that have their own problems. They have NO idea how hard you work or how hard it is for you - all they know is how shitty they feel about themselves. Next time smile to yourself and think about all the friends you have and how great you support system is and how life is good!! Those girls definitely don't have that!!

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