Embrace the suck, and move the f*#k forward
This week has had a lot of ups and downs. It started out pretty awesome, I was able to do the grocery shopping on my own in only an hour and a half. I was focused and I did not get too distracted. I had a very good strategy to keep moving forward.
Monday was a good day I went to the YMCA to do my rehabilitation workout, I found it very busy in that place. It was a good workout, but I needed to change a lot of stuff up as it seemed like someone else was doing the same kind of thing. Also when I needed to get on a hamsters wheel they were all taken. So I decided I would jump on the curve it a manual hamster wheel in a large u shaped. It was good I just focused on each 5 mins at a time. Ever time I got through 5 mins I said to myself this is not that bad and just kept going until I could see Kris getting ready for her spin class. I knew if I want to sit in the hot tub I needed to get going.
Tuesday started off as a good day, I decided that if I was going to have a rest day I should go to the movies. I choose to see Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I enjoyed the movie, it was not One of Tina Fey's regular movies. It was awesome, plus there was a line at the end of the movie that I really could relate to. "Embrace the suck, and move the f#*k forward" well like I said could relate to. After the movie I headed to the doctor always fun to see the primary doctor. This time was different from any time I have ever gone there in the past. I was early, like I am for everything in my life, and He was running ahead of time so for the first time I think ever I basically walked in and went to the small waiting room. He opened the door almost before I sat down. It was a very weird experience. After seeing the doctor I decided that I would go to the Kcup superstore and grab some for Kris. As we talked about me possibly going there, but I could only remember to go there. This is where stuff started to come of the rails, I thought I will just take public transit, I jumped on the 1st bus started to feel cold, got to southland station and hopped on the 2nd bus to head up the hill got off at the correct stop, crossed the street and I arrived at the Kcup superstore and could not figure out why I was there. I called Kris and of course she was unavailable as she was in a meeting. I left a message for her to call me when she got the message. I did a little shopping, I was very cold, started to worry I left my jacket at the movie Theater or the doctors.
Kris called me back and we started to talk about what was going on. She calmed me down, I finished my shopping and decided to walk next door to the Safeway to pick up something I enjoy, jalapeño pepper stuffed with feta cheese. So I now refer to the the small state of confusion as an incident. I did not leave my jacket at the doctors nor the movies I didn't have a jacket because it was nice out when I left the house.
Wednesday was a very large day, My day started off with me going to my rehabilitation appointments, that was the easy 3hours of my day. From there I went to the YMCA to workout a bit and refocus. I did an easy workout to bring my mind back to what I was thinking was important. From the YMCA I went to The post surgery bariatric support group. It was good to go and talk to people on a similar journey. Although mine is a little more difficult than most, as I am losing weight, but I am also on this Brain injury survivor journey as well. The support group meeting was long after 5pm so I don't really remember much from it. Wednesday I was out of the house for longer than 10 hours, I wanted to know I could do that without having to many incidents. I was able to make it through the tough day, however I did have a few incidents. I learned quite a bit about how to avoid having incidents. However I am thinking this will change as the days go forward. I know I met quite a few people at the support group unfortunately I don't really remember who they were. That's OK because this is how my evenings usually go.
On Thursday I went shopping at Walmart and I had one that moment today when somebody hasn't seen you in many years and they're trying to figure out who you are but can't place you because you look so different.
Friday was hey very special day as well, I year ago I started my preop diet for surgery, also it marked 125 days out of the hospital that's one more then I was in for. It was also my mothers birthday. It's weird how everything landed on that one day but that's how my life is now. I weird stuff just pops out, or maybe I just notice it more now.
Saturday was interesting as well. I got together with a good friend, Monique, Kristy and I went to see whiskey tango foxtrot. It was good to see it again, I enjoyed it and understood it better the second time around. After the movie we went to chapters so Kristy could pick up a book. Unfortunately the chapters did not have the book Kris was looking for so we decided to go for dinner, then head to the chapters at Chinook mall. After that we walked up the mall. Now I don't remember why we did that, but it was interesting to see how busy the mall was. Also I worked on trying to keep my impulsiveness under control. I think I did well, but not really sure. What I do remember from the trip up the mall was that I finally got to try the jugo juice smoothie place out and I did go to the Lego store as I have a new very cool Keychain of Darth Vader, because my brain works differently now I remember more of the harder things, than the happiest things. So on the way out to the autobot, my friend truck has an awesome Transformer deckle on it. We went back out the way we came in, through the chapters store and this is where things started to come way off the rails for me. As we walked through the chapters I got very confused, I could understand why the chapters changed so much. I thought I was in the Shaughnessy chapters, and I started to panic, in fact I stopped walking and started to call Kris on my phone. It was very scary, as I started to call Kris, Monique noticed I was lost and came and grabbed me. It is crazy how far I come off the rails.
On Sunday when I did the shopping, I didn't start a timer as I could live with the hour and a half that it would take to do it. This time I was able to do it in only an hour, Kris let me Know when she arrived that I did even better this week. It was good to know. However I am no longer trying to be like fat Brian. I am not going to let the stuff I could do before get in my way now. I need to find a way to just be this new more handsome Brian. Not worry if I am normal anymore. Fat Brian was not normal so why should I try to be like him. I think what is best is to just be me, and embrace the suck, and move the f*#k forward.