Dark side made me do it

Dark side made me do it

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Bumps are still out there

I have had a lot of challenges to overcome in my weight loss journey in the gym; the first was the same as Po’s old nemesis from Kung fu Panda, Stairs! It was hard but Damir and I fixed the stair issue I had very quickly and I started taking one stair one foot at a time. Next was my fear of falling, it was not the falling that was the issue it was the getting up off the ground. I still remember that Friday like it was yesterday, I came in the gym and Damir threw a mat on the ground in front of me. And said “lay down on your stomach” the fear in my eyes must have been very evident, because he said “just do it, we are not moving on until you do it” when I finally got down on my stomach I remember laying there just terrified how I was going to get up and a little direction from Damir I got off the ground crying the whole time. Then after I was on my feet, Damir saying “again!” It all seems so long ago, that the mind problems with doing certain things were done and over with, I was wrong, I hit another one of those fears this week.

In Thursday’s session we did this workout on the pure motion equipment, we basically went around this huge thing with 10 stations, one was hanging on this bar with your feet in the air, like the money bars when you were a kid. Before we did it I try to do it and was successful, I held it for 1 second. As we started going from station to station, I started to panic, how am I going to do it, when I got to that station I could not do it. It was like I was back starting at the mat on the ground again; thinking there is no way I can hold my body weight up on the bar. Damir knows me very well he said “stop think and just do it” but on the first round I was not able to wrap my head around it. On our rest between rounds practised and did it again. We started the second round and again I freaked myself out about it again, and when I got to the station again I had an issue with it. I was totally frustrated, in the third round Damir try just to mix up the stations and have me do it without thinking about it but it do not work. In the fourth round I told myself that I can do it, Damir would not have me do something I could not do! Did not help, in the last round, Damir started me two stations away from it and I was able to do it once I think in the 1min I was on the station. But it was very clear, my worst enemy, “fat Brian” was stuck in my head. Thursday session was a very hard one and was very mentally tough. So there still many non food related bumps still out there.

Friday’s boot camp was awesome. I decided before I arrived that if there were step jumps I was going to try and do them, instead of doing step up, because I need a win this week after Thursday’s session. As Damir went through all the stations at boot camp, I could tell it was going to be a hard class. When he did the step jumps I smiled, and said to myself, ok you can do it. Sandra and I were Partners. We pick a station three stations away from the step jumps. We did I think 5mins at each session. The first 3 station flew by. I reached the step jumps; I had butterflies in my stomach, just like the day before with hanging off the bar. , so while we were in switch, rest time, I stood in front of the step, I turn to look to see if Damir would approve if I tried, it looked like he was waiting to see if I was going to do it, so closed my eyes and I hopped on the step, when I open my eyes I was on the step but my heels were hanging over a little, that when I Heard, “don’t do that the whole time Brain” come from Damir, I asked “can I try again” “yes” Damir said grinning. This time I did it with my eyes open and I landed right in the middle of the step right where I was supposed to!! I must have the biggest smile because all the girls in the stations across from me were so excited I was able to do it!! It was good to end the week on a high note after not really completing the hanging off the bar!!

Goals for this week are to run /walk 15 to 20 km over the next seven days. To prepare for the 10k in July & the 10k in August that Sandra, Lara and I are committing to do, so come out and join us for the 10k if you can!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Simplicity in the hand of a master is always amazing!

The month of June has always been a hard month for me. For many reasons, the biggest is that back in 1986 I saw my Brother Cory get hit by a car, and he passed away. I seem to have this black cloud over me in June. I have done amazing things in June as well, I joined that special club of 100lbs down in June, and I started my weight loss journey in June. But for some reason I just can’t seem to shake that black cloud. This year it seems to be harder than ever, I am stressed in all aspects of my life. To top it off father’s day is this weekend and I am not on the best terms with my Dad. Lately I have been thinking about my brother, how if he was here we would totally be hitting the gym together! Kickboxing together, running the 5k together and playing catch. It could be the reason I am thinking about Him more this year is that one on my new closest friend Sandra is the same age he would be and I am doing all these great things with her. It is awesome because we kind of have that connection that I have been missing for awhile.

I want start by saying I love training with Ryan. In order to talk about today’s session we must go back and talk about June 7th session first. On June 7th Ryan and I had an awesome session with Damir, the session started with Damir showing us the sled “he said push it” after we did he commented “see how light it is, you will be pushing it the whole hour!! One of you would push it the other will do cardio based exercise until the other has pushed in up and back a number of times! You will then switch!” So we started with burpees as our cardio exercise of course. We did about half an hour, with a few different cardio exercises in there. By now I could tell how long Ryan was going to be with the sled, so when Damir Said “Mountain climbers” for our next Exercise I think I start to panic, I may have even had tears in my eyes. Damir looked at me and said “this is going to be hard, but you can do this!” As I started to do them Damir sat right next to me as Ryan starts with the sled I just stare at the ground and pound them off. That first round I did not look up to see where Ryan was I just kept going. That first round Damir did not say much he just corrected me. I try to do the sled very fast, hoping Ryan would be as nice. The second round of mountain climbers, again I just stared at the ground and I start pump my legs, as I start to slow down that is when Damir Says “go back to the place you were in the first round” I finish the second round and I made it without stopping in that round I do believe and hit the sled. The third round of mountain climbers, the longest round was finally here. This time I started out strong and then my legs gave out and we just started. I got back up pretty quick and started again, and that is when everything else in the loud gym went away and all I could hear was Damir talking me through it. It rocked he was so awesome and I made it through. It was a simple workout but awesome, very awesome!!

Today was a rough day right from the get going. I arrived at work to find out that they still have not finished the new seal on the roof in the area I am working. So it basically rained in my work area all day. So by the time I got to the gym I was not in the best mood. My bus was late, so I was late; Ryan had cancelled because he was not feeling well. So I knew it was going to be intense because one on one with Damir is crazy. As I Came out of the locker room I saw Damir standing on the treadmill with that Giant fucking grin on his face and his hair down. I knew from that moment this is going to hurt!! As I stepped on the treadmill he said “you are only going one minute at a 15 incline” and when the minute was up we hit the weights hardcore. Then back on the treadmill for a longer time and of course it was at a 15 incline. About 10 minutes in it was so awesome, all the shit in my life went away and I began to smile. It is amazing that after 10 minutes with Damir my whole day changed for the better! He has that kind of effect on everyone I think! At 20 minutes in everyone else in that very busy gym just seemed too melted away like on the 7th, it was amazing, it was like it was just Damir and I in the room. Everyone was still there but my mind just did pick them up.

The session was a very simplistic session, no Giant Tire, no carrying Damir, no hill of hell, just Damir and I with Weights and a treadmill. Like with cooking, Simplicity in the hand of a master is always amazing! The session was one of the best ones I have ever had! Not because it was one on one, it was because he pushed me way past my limits! It was so awesome. Not sure if I will be able to lift anything tomorrow but it was totally worth it!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I looked like a big fit football player

I have had a very busy couple of weeks, my Sundays have been full of 4 and 5k walks, but were more like 16k both weekends. Last weekend I did a 12k walk on the arc trainer on the Saturday and did the 4K MS walk on the Sunday. When I was done my legs were so sore! I felt so strong.

This weekend I did took Saturday as a rest day. Instead of hitting the gym and doing 2 or 3 hours on the arc trainer I did my annual fundraiser to raise money for the Alberta Children’s hospital. I shrink wrapped my shelf to a bench at the Wal-Mart I work at for 8 hours. It was much different this year. As I did last year after I was shrink wrapped I had a coworkers take my photo so I could put it up on Facebook right away to invite people down. Later in the day I got a text from Ryan, he mentioned that he was floored by my photo. At the time I thought nothing of it as I was busy with my fundraiser. Later when Ryan picked me up to go out to dinner and a movie He mentioned it again. So while we waited for a table I look at the photo. It blow me away as well, the shrink wrap had made my Apron disappear. Ryan was right I looked like a big fit football player. That is what I would look like if I did not have my apron. Also on my sign was my weight loss, this was the first time I have had people question that I really lost that much weight. Most could not believe I was ever 520lbs, the Wal-Mart greeter that was at the door with me kept saying “no he really was, I remember when he was that big” it was a good day I raised more money than my goal of 520 dollars.

Today I did the Wal-Mart walk with my friend Kelly; we did it in excellent time! Kristy and I had to walk from the 7th street LRT stop to the Pumphouse Park it was like doing a 5k before the 5k! It was awesome doing the walk with Kelly! Kelly kept me going fast and we finished far from last! The only let down was that when we finished the walk the food they were giving the walkers was Hot Dogs, Chips and Pepsi. I understand that it cheap and they most likely got it all for free from there venders. But come on, they went on about how the walk was a healthy way to start to lose weight. Then at the end of the walk to feed everyone crap!! Well I guess I need to try and change the Wal-Mart Culture.