Finding Brian 

I know I have not posted on this blog in many years, I am going to use it again to talk about my Journey into the this new life. 2015 was a very difficult year, I had vertical  sleeve gastrectomy surgery. I did this because I was tipping the scale at 540 pounds. I had a complication from the surgery that the surgeon did not see coming. The complication I had was Wernicke Korsakoff Syndrome. I received brain damage from this and I am working on repairing the damage. I was in the hospital for 124 days where I need to relearn many things I took for granted,  like standing, walking, and eating. 

Enough about the past, let's talk about what's going on now. Today is a new very different time, I am dealing with so much now. I am trying to find out who I am, I know that sounds funny for a 42 year old guy not to know who he is. I don't really know, Fat Brian I think had no idea either. Since I came very close to dying my view of life has changed greatly. I don't want to waste anymore time with things I don't think really matters anymore. So here is what I have come up with so far, I like to walk, so I am going to try to walk more outside. I have figured out how I like to cut & style my hair. I know I still love to cook. I also like to workout, not the crazy shit I did before, but a calmer kind. As I work some of this stuff out, I guess I am finding This new Brian. 

Things are all over the place as I am trying to understand how my brain works. Most days I wake up ready to conquer the world. Then there is the other days I wake up and feel very overwhelmed. Unfortunately for me I have not really found any middle ground yet. I know this may sound strange but what I find the hardest is this not working thing. It's very hard to sit still and if I have a rest day or a day with very little to do in it I feel very restless. The other very strange thing is that my older memories are what is coming up, so I am remembering real old shit. It's much easier then remembering stuff from now, Like did I have breakfast, or who was that I bumped into at the Walmart the last time I was shopping. It is very frustrating, 

I am a Brain Damaged Warrior  fighting my way back. It's a lot harder than you could imagine.