updated Rules to surviving personal training

Over the weekend enjoyed a great movie Zombieland, it was a very cool movie. It got me thinking that there should be rules to surviving personal training. So bear with me as I have a little fun here.

Rule #1 Cardio

Just like in the movie Zomieland cardio is very important part of surviving your session with your personal trainer. Yes your trainer will push that cardio is a good thing and most likely the treadmill will be your new best friend. What I have learned is that starting on the treadmill before your session is a good thing, makes for a happy trainer. Happy Trainer = great session :o)

Rule #2 Vomiting can only happen in the locker room bathroom or learn to swallow

Let’s not kid are selves there will be Vomiting, when you feel that it coming the best thing to do is to head for the locker room weather you do it or not better to be safe, then to have to swing a mop.

Rule # 3 Never ever say “I can’t do that”

Those 4 little words turn your trainer into the Drill Sgt. from full metal jacket. Nobody wants that!

Rule # 4 Crying is for the shower or the ride home

You may have urged to cry when you finally do something that you could not do before or that you are in that much pain. In my experience it best not to do this in front of your trainer, it is uncomfortable for your trainer & it may shows weakness. I love my trainer however, any weakness he finds, he likes to fix. Fix it he will!

Rule # 5 do not confess your bad habits

Confession is for church and cops, telling your trainer that you just knocked back a tub of Ben and jerry’s is not a very good idea. This will just make your trainer unhappy! Unhappy Trainer = Burpee’s lots and lots of burpee’s or stairs lots and lots of stairs. However if your trainer asks you if you have cheated, always, always, always tell the truth! They know if you’re lying

Rule # 6 enjoy your victories

Both Scale and non scale victories. You just kicked some ass Enjoy!

Rule # 7 Smile when your body makes those special noises!

Farting and burping is going to happen, get comfortable doing this in front of your trainer, because it is going to happen.

Rule # 8 calling the person saving your life an asshole is ok

Sometimes you will feel like calling your trainer names like “asshole or Satan’s little helper” it is ok because they have heard it all. In my experience he likes it and gets off on it!

Rule # 9 wear something to keep the sweat out of your eyes

Sweat is going to come out of every pour! Keeping it out of your eyes will help when doing stuff like cleans with the kettle bells, nobody want to take one of those to the head.....trust me it hurts!

Rule # 10 when saying “I need a good ass kicking or bring it on” make sure Walking is optional the next day!

You can, & should say this from time to time. However, if you do make sure Walking is optional the next day!! I have done this and when I have it is a very intense session. They know your limits and want to push you beyond them, so egging them on is always fun!! However like I said make sure Walking is optional the next day!!

Rule #11 food is fuel

Eating the right food before a workout is an important key to a good session, if you eat a junk or fast food your workout will not be a fun experience.

Rule # 12 your trainer is always right.

When training from time to time you will find that your trainer has made an error in counting or the order of the circuit, I find it best to let that go, sometimes it is best to not to be right. Correcting your trainer can result in more burpees, best not to argue with the person who decides how many burpees are in your future.

Rule # 13 the only thing worst then saying “I can’t” is saying “I am trying”

Like Yoda your trainer does not like the word try, some say trying is lying, or I will tell you when you’re trying.... saying I am trying will make for an unhappy trainer. Again Unhappy trainer = Burpees lots and lots of burpees

Rule # 14 try to never be late

Being late to a training session or bootcamp will cause undo attention, your trainer has a plan for your session arriving late will result in most likely no rest time, also in a bootcamp I have found if you are late they will give you added attention so catching your breathe is out .