Dark side made me do it

Dark side made me do it

Friday, December 24, 2010

"Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

"Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

With 2010 coming to an end and my Birthday around the corner I am reflecting on what an amazing year it has been. Looking back at 2010 I am in surprised at what I was able to achieve in only one year. 2010 started with me not sure how I was going to reach my first goal of 100lbs down before June. At first I was very cocky as I came out of the holidays with a weight loss and not a gain. I was cocky because I lost weight while I started to slip with the food. In full addict style I thought I could eat what I wanted as long as I worked hard at the gym. My weight loss stalled and I slipped deeper into my food addiction. This went on until the middle of March this was tough time. Damir I am sure frustrated with my attitude, we started to have a very different kind of workout, we did weeks of cardio on the hamster wheel. It was very hard on my body, because we were pushing so hard, and I was eating crap my body gave out and I started to get a cold, which quickly turned into pneumonia. The doctor made it very clear I was not going to get better unless I stop working and training & rest so my body would heal. So I was stuck at home for 2 weeks to recover. This was a very telling time, with time away from Alive and work gave me time to heal and think about how hard I was really making it on myself.

In order to keep my weight in check while I was not working out I need to eat very carefully. Coming back to Alive in April I had a better control of my addiction and I was eating better six days out of week, that is when Holly and Damir told me I could still make it to 100lbs down by June if I eat as clean as possible and step up the cardio. 37 lbs in 7 weeks, I first thought it was impossible. But I put my doubts aside after my first training session with Damir, right after our meeting. Damir Kicked my ass to the extreme, and then put me on the treadmill and said don’t get off before you have walked on the treadmill for an hour. I did it, I was able to work out for two hours and I did not die. So from there I just committed to myself that nothing was going to stop me.

June came and I was able to do it I lost 100lbs in my first year, it came right down to the wire, but I was able to do it. I have heard this saying at a weight watchers meeting , “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” now I don’t know if that is true or not as Skinny I have not been in a very long time, however I can honestly say nothing feels more awesome then realizing that you have lost a 100 lbs!! I wish I could tell you when I first realized that or when I first felt proud at what I have accomplished. But it was not a one day you feel it kind of thing! Hard to believe maybe, but for me it was when I over heard some talking about their weight, then it hit me,I lost what they weigh, as much weight as another person weighs! That is when I realized that I am in a very exclusive club, over 100 lbs of weight loss!!

Now, I don’t deal well with success, it was not until a very close friend for mine pointed out that it is ok to be successful. That Pride is not an evil thing. I work very hard and I should be proud of that. Pride is not being cocky, pride is very good thing. Fearing success is not a normal way to live. So I have embraced this and I want take this to the next level.

Looking back at 2010 I did what some said could not be done; I hit the 130lbs down mark! I now know that I can take this to the next level. In 2010 I broke the 400lb barrier! Now I am going to challenge myself to do another thing some say can’t be done! I am going to break the 300lb barrier before the end of the summer! Time to put everything I have learned to the test. Time to step it up! I know if I can hold it together with the food I can make this goal! Like many Great people have said in the past "Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

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