rules to surviving personal training

Over the weekend enjoyed a great movie Zombieland, it was a very cool movie. It got me thinking that there should be rules to surviving personal training. So bear with me as I have a little fun here.

Rule #1 Cardio

Just like in the movie Zomieland cardio is very important part of surviving your session with your personal trainer. Yes your trainer will push that cardio is a good thing and most likely the treadmill will be your new best friend. What I have learned is that starting on the treadmill before your session is a good thing, makes for a happy trainer. Happy Trainer = great session :o)

Rule #2 Vomiting can only happen in the locker room bathroom or learn to swallow

Let’s not kid are selves there will be Vomiting, when you feel that it coming the best thing to do is to head for the locker room weather you do it or not better to be safe, then to have to swing a mop.

Rule # 3 Never ever say “I can’t do that”

Those 4 little words turn your trainer into the Drill Sgt. from full metal jacket. Nobody wants that!

Rule # 4 Crying is for the shower or the ride home

You may have urged to cry when you finally do something that you could not do before or that you are in that much pain. In my experience it best not to do this in front of your trainer, it is uncomfortable for your trainer & it may shows weakness. I love my trainer however, any weakness he finds, he likes to fix. Fix it he will!

Rule # 5 do not confess your bad habits

Confession is for church and cops, telling your trainer that you just knocked back a tub of Ben and jerry’s is not a very good idea. This will just make your trainer unhappy! Unhappy Trainer = Burpee’s lots and lots of burpee’s or stairs lots and lots of stairs. However if your trainer asks you if you have cheated, always, always, always tell the truth! They know if you’re lying

Rule # 6 enjoy your victories

Both Scale and non scale victories. You just kicked some ass Enjoy!

Rule # 7 Smile when your body makes those special noises!

Farting and burping is going to happen, get comfortable doing this in front of your trainer, because it is going to happen.

Rule # 8 calling the person saving your life an asshole is ok

Sometimes you will feel like calling your trainer names like “asshole or Satan’s little helper” it is ok because they have heard it all. In my experience he likes it and gets off on it!

Rule # 9 wear something to keep the sweat out of your eyes

Sweat is going to come out of every pour! Keeping it out of your eyes will help when doing stuff like cleans with the kettle bells, nobody want to take one of those to the head.....trust me it hurts!

Rule # 10 when saying “I need a good ass kicking or bring it on” make sure Walking is optional the next day!

You can, & should say this from time to time. However, if you do make sure Walking is optional the next day!! I have done this and when I have it is a very intense session. They know your limits and want to push you beyond them, so egging them on is always fun!! However like I said make sure Walking is optional the next day!!

“I think it is true you have to go through hell to get to heaven”

I have been a fixture at alive for months and months, I go there 5 to 6 days a week. It is fun to go there, well most weeks. As you can see from my earlier posts I can do the exercise, however the food is my Green Kryptonite.

Now when I say food I mean all the bad stuff, chips, Ice cream, burgers, etc...So somewhere along the way I started to forget that I need to follow my food plan. So I have not been holding up my end. So I think to teach me there are consequences if I don’t hold up my end, and that it is not muscle that I am gaining. Damir has banished me to the treadmill. That is where” it is fun most weeks to go to alive, because this week has not been fun.” Now I know what you are thinking, the treadmill is easy you just walk on it, how hard can that be? Now I have walk on the treadmill many time before, but on Monday I learned that speed is not everything and I thought it would be like in the biggest loser where Damir would just keep turning up the speed, Wrong on Monday he said “we are not going to turn up the speed don’t worry that” so I am doing my 5 min warm up & thinking ok this is going to be easy. Then around 3 min in it hits me in the past like a ton of bricks when Damir has me sit down in the gym it becomes very very very hard real fast. So I then the panic sets in. I hit 5 min and he starts turning up the grade, not a little no he puts at the top 15! So my little walk on the treadmill turns into a very hardcore workout! Up...down....up...down...up...down! So 30 min fly’s right by and our session is done. He turns to me and says “don’t get off until you hit 65 min no holding on and no jumping off to rest I will be watching.” So I am thinking that was a 30min session, what will we do for our hour tomorrow, we won’t do the treadmill for an hour. Wrong!! It will be this hell all week. Tomorrow we weigh in, and I have been on the ball with the food and been on the treadmill everyday for at least an hour. I should finally break 450! I think it is true you have to go through hell to get to heaven and right now 448 would be heaven!

This journey

This journey has changed many things in my life. The way I look at food as fuel, not as a way to make me feel better. The way I see how my body is different every week. It is funny how my body changes, one week my nipples are in one place the next week it is like they moved up or down by inches. Not only is my journey changed my life, I have found new things that I love that I never thought I would. The way new runners feel on my feet. The way a fresh t-shirt smells at the beginning of your workout. The excitement I feel when I am about to start an hour workout with Damir or kickboxing class with Kendra. The rush I feel when I did something that I thought I could not do. The feeling of running never thought I would be running! This Journey has also brought many great people into my life. Everyone is great encouraging me, sometimes they don’t even know they are. I feel very blessed. Thanks Everyone

“Food is going to always be the hard part”

“Food is going to always be the hard part”

It has been seven months I have been on this weight loss journey; you would think that I would have the food thing down. I thought I did, then Christmas came along and I fell off the wagon. I am a food addict, so adding some sweets and chip into my diet was not a good idea. So, after Christmas I got cocky and thought I could still eat that shit and lose weight, wrong! As an addict I can talk myself into eating a bag of chips very quickly. I have great support from my wife, I don’t think she has an addiction like I do, she can say no easily. This journey is a long one; it takes long to put it on longer, to take it off. Exercise is the fun part of this. So last night when I was bitching on the way home to my Friend Ben, he said “Brian the Food is going to always be the hard part” It was nice to hear I was not insane. So I am proud to say I have made it 24 hours now without any chips, cookie or Ice cream and here is hoping that I go the next 24.

Lost

Lost

It has been a very different week then what I normally have, LOST is the best way to describe what I am going through this week. I don’t know what happened, but I seem to have lost my way. Thursday night I had a nightmare that Big Brian was back, and he was bigger than ever. On Friday I had to weigh in with Damir and I was up some weight. I thought I was doing well with the food, but I am not sure. So now I am very lost. Also yesterday I had the first feeling like “man I don’t feel like going into the gym tonight” I was told it would happen, but I never believed that it would. So after punching out at work I grabbed my phone and went to call my friend and life coach to kick my ass to get in Alive. I started to dial, but I stopped & took a deep breath said to myself “Just go, you are better than this.” Yes I went!

The good thing is that Damir is really kicking my ass this week. Time to dig deep and find my way back.

What will it be like!

This week I have been dreaming again, I have been wondering what it it will be like to walk into a Wal-Mart and buy 6 pairs of underwear, two shirts, and a pair of jeans and only spend 40 bucks. Right now that would not even buy me a pair of jeans. I wonder what it will be like to be able to go out with my friends to a restaurant and not have to tell the hostess where I need to sit so I can fit. I wonder what it will be like to have woman get giggly and giddy around me like they do around Ben and Damir.

It is very exciting to think of the future, last night on the biggest loser Bob put on the amount of weight (in weight vests and belts) that I started my weight loss journey with. 520 lbs, He moaned about how much weight they put on him. Could not believe how much his body hurt. I thought wow this he really is seeing what life was like, is like right now. Then he really pissed me off he turned to the contestant h and said “I don’t know how you go through life like this, I get to take this off in a minute. Do know how long it will take me to get that off you? Months!” Months try it will take me years Asshole, however I hope it only takes him months. But if he does lose the weight that fast I don’t think it will stay off. So I will never stop, fitness is here to stay in my life! I love it! I love it more then I love coke zero, my friends will probably fall out of seats when read this, because they know how much I love coke zero. So I know my future is going to be great. I will buy clothes at Wal-Mart one day, and I will sit anywhere in a restaurant. It is going to Rock!! I can’t wait!!!

What will it be like