What the Hell!!

What the Hell!

I am one week into the whole 60 days eating clean thing and it is going great! I do feel I am back on track. The food tastes amazing; I forgot that when all the other processed crap is in your diet, the good health foods don’t taste as good. But wow when you cut them out boy everything starts to taste so good. An example of that is that I never like potatoes in the past. In order to eat them I would have to smother them in sour cream and bacon or put cheese on them. This week Wal-Mart did not have any sweet potatoes, so I had to get baby potatoes for my lunches. The first day they were ok, but by the end of the week that all I talked about is how great they were. I also have been having salad with Balsamic Vinegar along with chicken when we get home from Alive, and wow that has been so good as well. So far I love the food. It is awesome!

It has not been all easy, last night we went to the movies at canyon meadows theatre; if you have ever been there you know they set up the big mazes line for the concession. Last night I stood in that line for about 20 mins for 2 Diet Cokes. That was hard, the smell of popcorn was very strong and as I stood in line I stared at the big bags of M&M. As I was getting to the front of the line I was starting to think I was really good all week one bag won’t hurt! Then I remember that if I get and eat that bag, Kim is going to make me pay with at least 150 Burpees, it’s a big ass bag she might say it is worth 200 or 300 burpees! Finely it was my turn and all that came out of my mouth was 2 Diet cokes please. Besides I had an apple and a nectarine in my jacket so I was good if I needed a snack.

The workouts this week have been very intense and insane; I put 10 hours in of hard work at alive this week. It has been awesome! Wednesday I was finished work early so i was able to put in an extra hour on the hamster wheel, & I didn’t have a partner for kickboxing boot camp so Damir was my Partner so I got to punch and kick for the whole hour. It was awesome!! Thursday’s Training session we worked on Biceps, Chest, and triceps, it was intense, the next day I was not all that sore, at first, as the day went on it hurt more and more. Saturday my whole body hurt, my legs, my Chest, my arms....Everything!! My triceps still hurt today and it is Sunday! What the Hell!

Every day I put two hours in, by Friday I was exhausted and I didn’t want to stay on the hamster wheel for two hours. I hoped off for a break after an hour and about 15 mins in to pee and say hi to a few friends at the lobby, but Damir was setting up his boot camp and notices I was screwing around and quickly put an end to that, and I was back on with a feeling I better stay on here a little longer to make up the time when I hoped off.

This week is going to rock!! I weigh in on Friday and it should be a good weigh in. I am going to stick to my food plan and put in as much time sweating as I can!! I have not had this feeling in a long time; I can’t wait to step on the scale on Friday!!

Bam Back to Reality!

Bam Back to reality!

Well I guess I had fun over the holidays, stepped on the scale tonight to start my new year off to a good start, and bam back to reality! I gained some weight back, some weight that is a not whole truth, I gain 10 pounds back. This is not the news I was hoping for, but I have fallen off the wagon over the holidays. Now is the time to step up and get control of the food. Food is my drug of choice, when I am feeling bad or upset I turn to my friend the potato chips and ice cream. Thinking this is going to make me feel better, but it never lasts long, in fact after I feel just horrible. I beat myself up for eating it, but that does not stop me from reaching for it the next time.

Going into the holidays, I was just getting over the flu and I thought that I could handle everything. The last time I step on the scale I dropped 7 pounds just before the holidays. Then as the holidays began I kept saying to myself just keep on track, you can do it. However stress got the better of me and I just let go, I started with a small bag of chips and then I started to slip, eating everything I could get my hands on. It was a bad place to be; once it has started it is hard to stop.

Now before this all happen I put together an action plan for the New Year. It is a good plan and I am going to execute it well. I am going to put up some reminder around me how easy it is to fall off the wagon and start to slip back into old habits. Old habit = weight gain and I cannot have that I need to keep going. I have worked way too hard to get this far to just to throw it all away. This is not going to happen!! I am not done yet.

I start my plan tomorrow; I am excited because I am in the right head space now. I know what I have to do to have all my dreams come true. I need to step up and Do IT! I just have to Control the hard part. The hard part is not working-out everyday. No that is a lot easier than most people think. The hard part is dealing with my emotions and not turning to food for a stress release. I need to remember food is not for pleasure. It is fuel for my body. I need to get back to where I turn to the hamster wheel for stress release or maybe pound on the heavy bag when I am upset. This is the hard part!

I have to stop lying to myself, yes I have lost a lot of weight, but that is not enough! I am much stronger than I believe I am. I can eat what I need to everyday, and not put the poison in my body. I need to remind myself that junk food is really just poison! It is not ok to have a chocolate bar here and there. It is not ok to skip a meal here or there. The bacon and the sausage on Sunday morning must go, because this is why I am not doing as well as I could.

I have made a promise that if I say something negative about myself that I owe Kim 30 burpees. This seems to be working, so here is addition to that If I fall off the wagon and eat any poison in the next 60 days I will owe 50 Burpees for each item. Example (1 package of FERRERO ROCHER has 3 chocolates = 150 Burpees)

I am either doing the work or I am not. I cannot keep working this hard to just stay 400lbs, I will be in the 200’s before the end of the summer. Food is not going to stop me!!

So I guess I have learned a bit in the last year and a half at the Alive.

I arrived tonight at Alive to get some sweat in, it was been a hard week so the hamster wheel just was not going to cut it, I needed to work hard and not think about the last week or so. When you are on the hamster wheel there is a lot of time to think, this is not what I needed. Damir had just left and I decided that I would try to put something together that would make me sweat hard. As I changed into my workout gear I made a plan in my head. I would do interval training on my own.

So this is what decided to do for the first 45mins or so:

1. 3:00mins combo on the heavy bag

2. 45 sec wall squat

3. 3:00mins Hamster wheel with an incline of 10 at a 2.7 speed

4. 45 sec Burpees (yes I did burpees without being told to do them)

5. 1:00min rest

I repeated this 6 times

It was awesome my heartbeat was in my head the whole time, after the 4^th set I want to stop and take a break, but I thought would Damir let me stop ... no I don`t think so, I pushed on. As I did I felt the like I was going to vomit and I new I was working hard When the timer said that I had finished I still want to keep going, but I wanted to change it up a bit.

Then I changed it up and this is what I end with:

1. 2:00 combo on the heavy bag

2. 45secs wall squat

3. 45secs Trx Rows

4. 2:00 hamster wheel on 0 incline at 2.8 speed

5. 45Sec Dirty Burpees

6. 1:00 min rest

I repeated this 4 times

It was a great feeling to know that I could actually come up with a Great workout on my own. It was awesome; I know that I could push myself pretty hard. I do believe that although I push myself it is not the same as when Damir is pushing me. He can push me beyond my limits! I can only get close to the limit line but without him there to push me over the edge I just won’t go there.

People have made this comment to me on more than once in the last few months, ``you have been doing this for over a year now do you really still need a trainer`` to this I always say if you have never trained with a trainer you don’t understand they do more than just teach you what to do, they take things to the next level, always raising the bar! I although I could put together a workout where I sweated my ass off, I need Damir there to kick me over the line and make me do stuff I never thought I could do and point me in the right direction!!

It is nice to not be sick anymore, it was a long week !!

"Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

"Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

With 2010 coming to an end and my Birthday around the corner I am reflecting on what an amazing year it has been. Looking back at 2010 I am in surprised at what I was able to achieve in only one year. 2010 started with me not sure how I was going to reach my first goal of 100lbs down before June. At first I was very cocky as I came out of the holidays with a weight loss and not a gain. I was cocky because I lost weight while I started to slip with the food. In full addict style I thought I could eat what I wanted as long as I worked hard at the gym. My weight loss stalled and I slipped deeper into my food addiction. This went on until the middle of March this was tough time. Damir I am sure frustrated with my attitude, we started to have a very different kind of workout, we did weeks of cardio on the hamster wheel. It was very hard on my body, because we were pushing so hard, and I was eating crap my body gave out and I started to get a cold, which quickly turned into pneumonia. The doctor made it very clear I was not going to get better unless I stop working and training & rest so my body would heal. So I was stuck at home for 2 weeks to recover. This was a very telling time, with time away from Alive and work gave me time to heal and think about how hard I was really making it on myself.

In order to keep my weight in check while I was not working out I need to eat very carefully. Coming back to Alive in April I had a better control of my addiction and I was eating better six days out of week, that is when Holly and Damir told me I could still make it to 100lbs down by June if I eat as clean as possible and step up the cardio. 37 lbs in 7 weeks, I first thought it was impossible. But I put my doubts aside after my first training session with Damir, right after our meeting. Damir Kicked my ass to the extreme, and then put me on the treadmill and said don’t get off before you have walked on the treadmill for an hour. I did it, I was able to work out for two hours and I did not die. So from there I just committed to myself that nothing was going to stop me.

June came and I was able to do it I lost 100lbs in my first year, it came right down to the wire, but I was able to do it. I have heard this saying at a weight watchers meeting , “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” now I don’t know if that is true or not as Skinny I have not been in a very long time, however I can honestly say nothing feels more awesome then realizing that you have lost a 100 lbs!! I wish I could tell you when I first realized that or when I first felt proud at what I have accomplished. But it was not a one day you feel it kind of thing! Hard to believe maybe, but for me it was when I over heard some talking about their weight, then it hit me,I lost what they weigh, as much weight as another person weighs! That is when I realized that I am in a very exclusive club, over 100 lbs of weight loss!!

Now, I don’t deal well with success, it was not until a very close friend for mine pointed out that it is ok to be successful. That Pride is not an evil thing. I work very hard and I should be proud of that. Pride is not being cocky, pride is very good thing. Fearing success is not a normal way to live. So I have embraced this and I want take this to the next level.

Looking back at 2010 I did what some said could not be done; I hit the 130lbs down mark! I now know that I can take this to the next level. In 2010 I broke the 400lb barrier! Now I am going to challenge myself to do another thing some say can’t be done! I am going to break the 300lb barrier before the end of the summer! Time to put everything I have learned to the test. Time to step it up! I know if I can hold it together with the food I can make this goal! Like many Great people have said in the past "Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"

myworkout Dec 2 2010A.wmv

Movie

Stumbled

Sorry that it has taken over a month to write in my blog. I had allot of head shit I need to deal with. It all started about 3 weeks ago, I forgot why I was on this weight loss journey and I lost my way. I was in a lot of pain and began to think the pain was not worth it. So I just let a few things go little by little I started to slide backwards. I was still going to alive, I just didn’t have my heart in it and I did not push myself to 100%. Damir was on vacation, but I don’t think it was that he was not there that I stumbled. I am sure if he was there it would not have gone on for two weeks, he would have called me on it sooner. I believe everything happens for a reason, so while Damir was gone I learned some important things about myself. The first was that if I stop, even for a short time the weight comes back! The second is that although I still need Damir’s help I can pick myself back up when I do slip. The third is that if I feel myself slipping I need to ask for help. Before Damir came back I had already started back on the right road, giving it 100% at Alive and with the food.

So much has happened since my last blog entry I gained 11 pounds and lost 6 of those pounds. I can now hold a plank of 40 seconds. Kristy was chosen for a wonderful gift, which she worked really hard for. I am so proud of her.

I had some very awesome workout in the last month; Damir was away, so Ryan and I trained with Clayton for a few weeks. That was a lot of fun; he is very motivating and very loud. He pushed me even when I was not giving it my all. His style is different from Damir’s, but it was awesome. I would recommend Clayton, he is an awesome trainer and I am sure I will train with him again.

My regular kickboxing partner has been away so I have been going with Colleen and Jamie. They are very good partners. Last Saturday Colleen and I were partners in Damir’s Kickboxing class, my arms were very sore from my training session with Damir on the Thursday before, during the one of our Combo Stations I dropped the pads to take a rest & we got caught by Damir! He said 10 Burpees now, we drop and did them. At the next station Colleen Accidently kicked me in the nuts; we did not stop with the combo as did not want to have to do more burpees. If you have ever been Colleen partner you know how hard she kicks, I am getting teary eye just remembering.

I wanted a change, so as you can see in the Picture above I have cut my Hair!! Also I have decided to do a video blog on facebook so look to see my weekly updates there as well.