one of his crazy “Satan little helper” moods

One of his crazy “Satan little helper” moods

Today was an awesome day food and fitness wise. Somehow when I was going through the till at Wal-Mart on the way out I ended up with a bag of potato chips in my bag. I did not pick them up I think it was the person in front of me who had a whack of them on the belt in front of me, somehow I ended up with one not realizing it. While I was waiting for the bus I went into my shopping bag to get my Coke Zero and saw the chips. It was a long bus ride to Alive. My mind could not stop thinking about the chips in my shopping bag the whole bus ride. I was close to eating them. But I dug deep and did not eat them. Instead I told my trainer Damir to take them, and he did.

As I got off the bus I look at the time on my Iphone, 4:16, I turned on my music and walked up the block to Alive. I looked again as I opened the door to head in and it said 4:19. Wow it took only 3mins to walk from the bus. As I got my shorts and t-shirt on I smiled as I thought how far I have come. I know I have talked about it before, I just can’t wrap my head around that it took 15mins the first time I walked up that street to alive.

Tonight’s workout was in the park, across from alive, as my training partner Ryan and I walk across the parking lot we could see what Damir had planned for our hour. It looked insane!! There was a giant tire, weight sled, the rope, a sledge hammer and kettle bells. Although I did not notice the other stuff until I got to the park as my eyes did not really leave that giant tire. I could tell that Damir was in one of his crazy “Satan little helper” moods. As he began to tell us what we were going to do, all I was thinking was please don’t say were flipping that dam tire. He tells us to carry the 2 45lbs weights (one each hand ) to the tire and come back and put them on the weight sled, and I was thinking yes he didn’t say flip that dam tire, he continue to say pull the sled down around the tire and come back. Still I am yes he didn’t say flip the tire! He continues with 100 slams of the rope on each arm. I think 100 on each arm tough, but he didn’t say flip that tire. He continues... grab the sledge hammer and do 15 swings on each arm, and I am thinking yes he didn’t say flip the tire.. He continues run to the kettle bell and do 15 clean and press on each arm, and I am thinking ok looks like we are not going to flipping the dam tire. He continues after the kettle bell walk over to the ...... (And I am saying in my head not the tire not the tire) .....tire and flip it all the way up the park. He continued to say something else, but I did not hear what he said as I was staring at the tire. So Ryan starts, as I wait for him to get a little ahead of me I do burgees. As I am doing burpees I think I was staring at that dam tire the whole time. As he finishes with the weight sled Damir hands me the weights and I go I quickly go down and around the tire back to the sled and I put the weights on the sled and start pulling the sled down to the tire. It was allot harder then I thought it was going to be. I finish with the sled and go to the ropes, start slamming the ropes and it was not as hard as I thought. As I finish with the ropes I head over to the sledge hammer and start swinging, my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in the back of my head. That is when I see Ryan flipping the tire and it looks hard. I finish with the sledge hammer which was harder then I thought, and I run to the kettle bells and start, now my heart is really pounding, I now can feel it in the back and front of my head now. My arms are hurting from the sledge hammer but I finish each arm with the kettle bell, and head over to the tire. As I look down at the tire I am overwhelmed by the size of the tire. I lift the tire up and flip it.....wow it was not as hard as I thought it was! In fact it is the easiest part of the workout so I pound the tire up the park and that is when he said don’t forget the push ups against the picnic table. After the push up I catch my breath and he say two more time let’s go! As we did circuit my heart jumped out of my chest more and more. The workout was like a last chance workout on the biggest loser. I would love to say I made it through the without losing my cookies, but now I did not I totally blew chucks, and since we were outside I didn’t swallow it just let loose just past the picnic table. After the workout my heart was so tired, I had to sit for about 20mins before starting my half hour of Cardio. It totally rocked tonight and I can’t wait until Tuesday’s hour with Damir.

The Plateau

It has been such an intrusting month, vacation went very fast. During my time off from Wal-Mart I tried as much as I could to keep my calories on track. This was hard as temptation was everywhere, but I did keep in check. I took my niece to the stampede grounds, this was a tough as the smells were very overwhelming, everywhere you looked someone was eating crap, but I made it out of there only having 1 poor choice, lemonade. I won that battle. But while on vacation I did not eat in a good routine, and my body works well with routine. So I have been on a Plateau with my weight loss for over a month.

At first I thought maybe the plateau was the result of not being on a proper routine, but once I was back on routine nothing happen. So I talked to Damir about maybe cutting some of my calories? He suggested before I cut any that I should talk to Holly when she comes back from vacation. However maybe try eating some different foods like chicken or fish. So I Cooked off some chicken for last week’s lunches. Also we have been eating allot of Subway for dinner and Kristy noticed that the girl making my sub was putting double meat on my sandwich, because we have been going there allot lately I would just tell the girl the same as last time and I guess she thought I wanted double meat. So the last two weeks or so I have not been counting in the double meat calories. With the adding chicken into my routine and not having double meat on my sandwich, I broke my plateau!!

I don’t think it was just the change in my food that broke the plateau. We stepped it up with the workouts this week! This week the treadmill and I had really good dates. Monday I did 5 sets of the program that Damir put together for me. It rocked!! I was so wet from sweat it was like I fell in a pool or something. On Tuesday it was the “hill of hell”. Damir kicked my ass up that hill for an hour! Wednesday I did Damir’s kickboxing boot camp class and a little walk on the treadmill. Thursday I arrived at Alive with a bit of an attitude, I was in a bad mood.... this did not last long as Damir had me pull him up running.... not walking fast.... not jogging..... Running up the hallway! So the attitude went away very very fast. By the third or fourth set I was smiling. At the end of the session I asked if I could do one more set of pulling him up the hallway. He said ok ...... with that crazy grin.... that’s when I knew I was in trouble!! I pulled Damir and Ryan up the hallway.. When I got to the end of the hallway I just sat down .... That is when Damir said get up we are going back up the hallway..... Now my heart beat is pounding in my head...but I am trained well so when Damir says to do something I just do it without thinking ....so I start back up the hallway at first it was ok this not that bad, but then bang!! It got heavier ... but I kept going and got about 5 feet from the end and I stop. As I turned around I saw Ryan step off the sliders, then Damir and then another small surprise Sam was on sliders as well. It was not until I did the math in the car ride on the way home that I realized that I was pulling about as much weight as I weighed when I started. Friday I did the treadmill program at home ....was not as fun as doing it at Alive. Saturday I did the extended Kickboxing class and 30mins of the treadmill program. So all around it was a good week

Last month I did walk over 100 km This month’s Challenge is to do Ben’s Saturday Boot camp class twice and the “hill of Hell” twice if anyone out there would like to join me, please let me know.

Finding Brian

Finding Brian

I have changed so much in the last year, so much, that I don’t really know who I am anymore. July 1^st was my friend Ryan’s birthday; at his party I had an eye opening experience. I had such a great time, during the party Damir asked me when the last time I played catch. Now I have not played catch in about 15 years. So Damir and I went down and played a little catch, well I don’t think it was a little catch, I am not sure how long we played but it was a long time. Not once but twice did not think I would enjoy it, but I was wrong. I loved it!! The first time I threw the ball I got very excited, because I really liked it. We must have been down there for an hour the first time and the second must have been about the same.

So this got me thinking if I like playing catch what else do I like. Should I try some of the foods I didn’t like in the in the past, because I might like it now. Like egg plant or liver maybe I like these things now. It is hard to say. I never like going on the treadmill, now I love it. The other night as a joke Ryan said “I don’t even know you anymore.” This is how I feel I have no idea who Brian is anymore. I think in order to find out who I really am I need to do some stuff out of my comfort zone, maybe I should try out yoga or rollerblading. I have never tried this stuff before and I may like it. There is so many things to try it is overwhelming.

So I think I should try something new each week. This week I stepped out of my comfort zone and I did Ben’s boot camp class on Saturday, I always thought that is was too hard for me to complete. Not only did I complete it, I enjoyed myself. It was so much fun. The music Rocked, and Ben was awesome. I think on my Saturday’s off I will add the boot camp to my routine.

My challenge since June 20 was to walk 100km by July 20 well I am at 58 km and there is still 15 days to finish it so I am on track.

that little devil inside my head

The last month things have been up and down, sure I was have a few problems with the food thing. But I got that under control. I now have control of the food and I am no longer constantly thinking about bad food. I finally got to the point where I was feeling awesome. I forgot that I am always the biggest guy in the room. Then today on the bus I was listening to my music when I got a text and the music stopped. That is when I heard what the group of teenage girls at the back of the were talking about. They were mooing and making fun of my weight. So I turn my music back on and tried to forget about it. The bus trip felt like it was taking forever, and that is when that little devil inside my head showed up, I call him fat Brian, he started to talk and he never says anything good. So I start picking on myself, picking out all my flaws. I felt so fat. As I came to my stop, I was not in a very good place. I got off the bus grabbed my preworkout sub head to the park to eat it. Then off to the gym.

I started my workout, tonight’s workout was mostly on the treadmill, as I walked on the treadmill I start to think of all my accomplishments in the last year. The more I walked the better I felt about myself. Now after an hour of really pushing myself, I was feeling good but not there just yet. After an hour I hopped off the treadmill to clean it and Jen and Shaimaa came into the cardio room and said come on Brian get back on for another 30mins with us. Now I am soaking wet, from the amount of sweat. I roll my eyes, and got back on the treadmill, now they did not know what happen on the bus, nor did they know I was not feeling awesome yet. But that last 30mins did it. I started to feel awesome again. I powered through that last 30mins and I got off that treadmill feeling awesome. Funny how your friends jump in and help you with your head, even when they don’t have any idea you are not in a great place. This is why I love going to alive! The people there rock!!!

So yes if you see me getting off the treadmill and you say walk another 30mins with me, I will never say no. I may roll my eyes, but I will get back on and walk with you another 30mins! Thank you Jen and Shaimaa for pushing me tonight past my comfort zone!

Clean

CLEAN

Funny how easy it is to fall back into old habits, I worked so hard to eat clean, workout and lose weight. The last 3 months has been so awesome, workouts rocked, the food was so clean, and I was in such a zone. Then one weekend of letting loose turn into two weeks of poor choices. Now I am trying to dig out of this set back, and all I can think about is stupid potato chips and ice cream. I made it through today without eating that crap, but boy that is all I can think about. I hate the term “will power” it pisses me off when people say that, I don’t think it was will power that I used for the last 3 months. It was dedication and fear that got me through the last three months. Tomorrow I will wake up and I hope that my mind starts to think of other things. Tonight I had a good talk with Damir, that help that he understood what I was going through.

What was really awesome about tonight was the fact that I think hell week is back. We did a crazy hour on the treadmill tonight. It was awesome, I was pushed way out of my comfort zone and maybe little past my limits. I love sessions like that!! It really helps put my mind back on what I was doing. Tomorrow I am on my own with the treadmill and I think I may try and see if I can push myself like Damir did today! I am going to eat clean tomorrow I just hope my mind can get on board and thinks clean! :o)

Wow!!

Wow!!

Wow!! It has been an awesome couple of weeks. I hit my first year goal, I lost 100lbs!! I pulled it together and did it. Also I made a joke to my trainer Damir that I should try walking on the treadmill for three hours and walk more than 10km. He looked at me with that a giant grin on his on his face he gets just before I do something a chubby guy is not suppose to do. So on Friday June 4^th I walked on the treadmill for three hours. I had such an awesome support team my best friend Ryan walked with me for more than an hour and a half, then Jen took over and walked with me for over an hour, And in my last hour Leah and Sam jump on treadmills as well and I did it. I walked 3 hours it worked out to 14 km.

On Saturday June 5^th I had a fashion shoot with me in front of the camera. That was something else, I had been shopping the week before with Holly and Kristy and I have a whole new in the style.....no I mean I now have a style. During the shoot I had a moment that I have seen so many other people have, but until then it never happened to me. I did not recognise myself in the photo. I was truly stunned. I look so different, and I like what I was seeing. After the shoot Holly and Ben had a party to celebrate Kristy and I first big milestone. It was an awesome party!

On June 12^th I did a fundraiser that I do every year to raise money for the Wal-Mart Walk for Miracles I had a friend shrink wrap me to a bench at Wal-Mart and I sat there for 4 hours and raised $369. This time there was a lot of space left on that bench. Something great happen, many of the customers who donated last year notice that I was much smaller.

On June 13^th I did the Wal-Mart 5k walk for Miracles. I invited many of my friends from Alive to walk with me. 13 people showed up to walk with me, it was awesome. My team was bigger than the Wal-Mart 3010 store team (both volunteers and walkers). Now before the walk my team ask what my goal time was to finish the 5K, I said 1 hour and 15 mins. Well we blow that right out of the water. I finished in 1 hour and 2 mins. Damir pushed me the whole way; I mean literally he pushed me. It totally rocked!

I was feeling so good from the last couple of weeks, I started to slip a little with my food, ok slip is not the right word I fell off the clean wagon hard. In true addict style I started to talk myself into bad things. Started to think 1 burger.... i can handle it .... I can have 1 burger and it will end with just that.... yeah that didn’t work. 1 burger led to a lot more very poor choices. But my support team has quickly jumped in and gave me a good reality check and ass kicking. Now I am refocused and ready to take on the week. Thanks

New goal.....I will walk 100km in the next 4 weeks.... So by July 20 I will reach this first small goal of 100 km!

It just has not sunk it yet!

It just has not sunk it yet!

Wow it has been a whole year now since I started my weight loss journey. Last night looked at some old pictures of me, and I did not realize how big I was. It is something to say I lost 99 lbs, but wow looking at those photos what a difference. What is really awesome is how much I have changed on the inside. In those photos I could see how unhappy I was. I was not living life. Now I am almost always smiling and very positive.

Last weekend I finished a 5k walk, unlike the 5k walks I have done in the past. This one was timed with a sensor on my shoe laces. It was fun to walk with some friends and finish 23 minutes faster than last one I did in November. This time after the walk my legs did not hurt as bad as the last time. It is great to know that I can finish a 5k without having to spend the rest of my day sleeping. After the 5k I went shopping with Holly and Kristy for some new clothes. That was such a fun time, Holly and Kristy pulled all kinds of different stuff for me to try on. When I tried on the first outfit they put together for me, I looked in the mirror & I took a double take, if fact I think I looked behind me to see if it really was me. Now I have seen a few of my friends at alive not realize how far they have come, never did I think I would ever think that way. We were there for an hour or so, & when we left I was so happy. Now that was very weird for me, because in the past when I would go shopping for clothes, I would leave very upset. Not this time it was awesome I have ever felt so confident before. I can’t wait to show off my new look this weekend.

Tonight when I stepped on the scale and Kristy started screaming and Damir had a giant smile on his face because I have now hit 99lbs down. I didn’t react....in fact it still has not hit me yet. Maybe it is because I have not lost 100 lbs yet, not sure, but I am sure when it does I will lose it, and there will be lots of tears. Yet don’t get me wrong I am very proud of what I have done so far! It just has not sunk it yet.