Clean

CLEAN

Funny how easy it is to fall back into old habits, I worked so hard to eat clean, workout and lose weight. The last 3 months has been so awesome, workouts rocked, the food was so clean, and I was in such a zone. Then one weekend of letting loose turn into two weeks of poor choices. Now I am trying to dig out of this set back, and all I can think about is stupid potato chips and ice cream. I made it through today without eating that crap, but boy that is all I can think about. I hate the term “will power” it pisses me off when people say that, I don’t think it was will power that I used for the last 3 months. It was dedication and fear that got me through the last three months. Tomorrow I will wake up and I hope that my mind starts to think of other things. Tonight I had a good talk with Damir, that help that he understood what I was going through.

What was really awesome about tonight was the fact that I think hell week is back. We did a crazy hour on the treadmill tonight. It was awesome, I was pushed way out of my comfort zone and maybe little past my limits. I love sessions like that!! It really helps put my mind back on what I was doing. Tomorrow I am on my own with the treadmill and I think I may try and see if I can push myself like Damir did today! I am going to eat clean tomorrow I just hope my mind can get on board and thinks clean! :o)

Wow!!

Wow!!

Wow!! It has been an awesome couple of weeks. I hit my first year goal, I lost 100lbs!! I pulled it together and did it. Also I made a joke to my trainer Damir that I should try walking on the treadmill for three hours and walk more than 10km. He looked at me with that a giant grin on his on his face he gets just before I do something a chubby guy is not suppose to do. So on Friday June 4^th I walked on the treadmill for three hours. I had such an awesome support team my best friend Ryan walked with me for more than an hour and a half, then Jen took over and walked with me for over an hour, And in my last hour Leah and Sam jump on treadmills as well and I did it. I walked 3 hours it worked out to 14 km.

On Saturday June 5^th I had a fashion shoot with me in front of the camera. That was something else, I had been shopping the week before with Holly and Kristy and I have a whole new in the style.....no I mean I now have a style. During the shoot I had a moment that I have seen so many other people have, but until then it never happened to me. I did not recognise myself in the photo. I was truly stunned. I look so different, and I like what I was seeing. After the shoot Holly and Ben had a party to celebrate Kristy and I first big milestone. It was an awesome party!

On June 12^th I did a fundraiser that I do every year to raise money for the Wal-Mart Walk for Miracles I had a friend shrink wrap me to a bench at Wal-Mart and I sat there for 4 hours and raised $369. This time there was a lot of space left on that bench. Something great happen, many of the customers who donated last year notice that I was much smaller.

On June 13^th I did the Wal-Mart 5k walk for Miracles. I invited many of my friends from Alive to walk with me. 13 people showed up to walk with me, it was awesome. My team was bigger than the Wal-Mart 3010 store team (both volunteers and walkers). Now before the walk my team ask what my goal time was to finish the 5K, I said 1 hour and 15 mins. Well we blow that right out of the water. I finished in 1 hour and 2 mins. Damir pushed me the whole way; I mean literally he pushed me. It totally rocked!

I was feeling so good from the last couple of weeks, I started to slip a little with my food, ok slip is not the right word I fell off the clean wagon hard. In true addict style I started to talk myself into bad things. Started to think 1 burger.... i can handle it .... I can have 1 burger and it will end with just that.... yeah that didn’t work. 1 burger led to a lot more very poor choices. But my support team has quickly jumped in and gave me a good reality check and ass kicking. Now I am refocused and ready to take on the week. Thanks

New goal.....I will walk 100km in the next 4 weeks.... So by July 20 I will reach this first small goal of 100 km!

It just has not sunk it yet!

It just has not sunk it yet!

Wow it has been a whole year now since I started my weight loss journey. Last night looked at some old pictures of me, and I did not realize how big I was. It is something to say I lost 99 lbs, but wow looking at those photos what a difference. What is really awesome is how much I have changed on the inside. In those photos I could see how unhappy I was. I was not living life. Now I am almost always smiling and very positive.

Last weekend I finished a 5k walk, unlike the 5k walks I have done in the past. This one was timed with a sensor on my shoe laces. It was fun to walk with some friends and finish 23 minutes faster than last one I did in November. This time after the walk my legs did not hurt as bad as the last time. It is great to know that I can finish a 5k without having to spend the rest of my day sleeping. After the 5k I went shopping with Holly and Kristy for some new clothes. That was such a fun time, Holly and Kristy pulled all kinds of different stuff for me to try on. When I tried on the first outfit they put together for me, I looked in the mirror & I took a double take, if fact I think I looked behind me to see if it really was me. Now I have seen a few of my friends at alive not realize how far they have come, never did I think I would ever think that way. We were there for an hour or so, & when we left I was so happy. Now that was very weird for me, because in the past when I would go shopping for clothes, I would leave very upset. Not this time it was awesome I have ever felt so confident before. I can’t wait to show off my new look this weekend.

Tonight when I stepped on the scale and Kristy started screaming and Damir had a giant smile on his face because I have now hit 99lbs down. I didn’t react....in fact it still has not hit me yet. Maybe it is because I have not lost 100 lbs yet, not sure, but I am sure when it does I will lose it, and there will be lots of tears. Yet don’t get me wrong I am very proud of what I have done so far! It just has not sunk it yet.

11 days and 11 pounds

11 days and 11 pounds

I am so close to 100 lbs down. I have 11 days until my healthy lifestyle birthday; I would like to be 100 lbs down. It is going to be down to the wire. This all started with Holly and Damir challenging me to meet that goal. There were three big rules to start with. 1) Keep my calories and fat to what Holly set it to by eating clean as I can. 2) Cardio, Cardio, and more Cardio after every session or class. 3) No burgers, No deep fried items, No Chips. Yes those rule are all no brainers, however I have am a food addict so I thought it would be hard to follow. But I was wrong it was very easy to follow & not only was it easy but I am really loving eating clean and don’t tell Damir I am starting to love the hamster wheel. Who knew, besides Holly?

Almost a year ago I walked into Alive looking at the ground not very happy at all. I went there because my loving wife told me she was not going to watch me killing myself slowly anymore. “Killing myself slowly” I hated when people would say that to me, probably because it was true and I did not want to hear it. I walked in there thinking to myself “well this is not going to work, I am 520lbs, and it just took me 15 minutes to get here from bus. I can’t do this every day”. After a few weeks I slowly started to get better, it would only take 7 or 8 minutes to get to Alive from the bus, Holly had me drinking so much water I was peeing 10 to 15 times a day, and I was thinking “ok maybe this will work, but I doubt it. Also Hope I can make it from Wal-mart to Alive without having to pee” A month or so went by, and it was taking 4 minutes or less to get to Alive from the bus, Holly had me eating so much Veggies and Tuna I was worried I was growing gills, and I was thinking “I want this to work, I really want this to work For me.” October came along and I could see that I could do the working out, but the food just was not there yet. Christmas arrived and I made it through the holidays without gaining weight, however adding Sweets and junk food even just for a few days back into my life was not a good idea. This made me very cocky and I was eating through my calories and Kristy’s calories in a day. This went on for awhile and it was hard to kick the habit again. But I did it. February arrived and I was sticking to my lifestyle change every day except on Friday night. After I would weigh in we would go out for burgers, we would hit Tommy Burger, and it was very tasty. But again my weight loss stalled. In a session with Holly she looked at my food log and asked me where we went for our burgers on Friday nights. After some research on the internet Holly found out that My Friday night burger was 50g of fat. Opps that was not a good choice.

Then April arrived and my clean eating habits were finally there and that is when I was challenged. I am glad that they did that because now I know that it may be a long road to reach my biggest goal, but I know I can do it! I am so happy!! 89 pounds down and I feel so great. Make by the 4^th of June or not this train will keep going until I and at a happy weight.

Hot Tub Time Machine

If I had a hot tub time machine I would go back to 1990. Not to invent Google or the Iphone, no I would love to show the 17 year old Brian what life has become for 36 year old Brian. I would track him down, now the 17 year old Brian would be easy to find. Just need to walk in to the closest Fast Food place or Moxies at Chinook. Now he would not believe me, but I have a secret weapon, a secret only we know. Sorry guys got to keep that to myself in case I do stumble into a hot tub time machine.

After he understood that I was him, a very large version of him we would have to go for a little walk, now you sitting him down and talking to him is not going to work. So since I found young Brian at the Moxies at the Chinook mall I thought we should start with a little walk down a busy mall. Now if you have experienced this with me you know what is about to happen. We would start walking and first we would hit the 3 or 4 year olds who would say “Mommy he is so fat”. Now this would not really make an impact on younger Brian. No he will think that it is ok they are so young they don’t know any better. Next we would walk by a store I used to love to shop at, and we would stop in to see if they have anything in my size, and they don’t have anything. While in the store some Teenagers are there and they start mooing, this makes younger Brian uncomfortable and a little angry. So we leave the store. Now we head to the up to the food fair to grab younger Brian favourite, Fries and Mayo, as we share the very bad snack a 20 something woman say under her breath “ salad would be better bubby!” now younger Brian asks “how do you make it though the day, I could not be that strong.” I would answer “Dude this is not strength, this is sadness, sadness that it has come to this. Now you can go on the path you are on & end up going through this every single day, or you we can go for a different walk and I can point you toward some help.”

Now pointing younger Brian in the right direction is a little hard. It is 1990 and Damir is 3 years old, so that won’t work. So I would take him to the southland leisure center and show him a class schedule, and suggest a few classes to start. Then I would take him to a Taekwondo Studio and tell him trust me you will love this. Then I would pull out the old bike and say ride this as much as you can. Last I would take him to Weight Watchers and say “now you are 200 pounds, they will help you learn how to eat and drop 30 pounds or so and help you maintain a healthy body weight. Now I am not going to lie to you there will be Blood, Sweat and many tears, however if you take care of this now you will beat this and life will be a whole lot better. When you are 35 or so look up Alive Personal Training you will love it there! Also in a couple of years you are going to meet Jennifer Steeves, trust me, Run the other way, Don’t walk run!! ”

Now Back to reality I am very close to a 100 pounds down, I can see that big milestone and can feel that a healthy weight can be achieved, but boy I wish I could go back and kick that Chubby 17 year olds ass. My workouts this week look like there going to be on the Hamster wheel with Damir...this will be a crazy amount of, the taste of blood, lots and lots of Sweat and a few Tears, however last time we did just the treadmill I lost 15 or so pounds in just a few weeks. So this is going to Rock!!! Painful but it is still going to rock !!

Six Little Words!

Six Little Words

What a week, I have been working hard on my weight loss program. Not a day passed this week where my legs weren’t in pain. My heart say’s push through, pain is my friend, you can do it, dig deep! My legs say’s with every step, stop, stop, stop, ouch, ouch, ouch, hello pain means stop dummy!! My head say’s walking on the hamster wheel means you will lose... got to burn off the food you ate earlier, get your head in the game...Let’s go. Since it was two against one I push hard!! So hard that During Thursday night’s stroll on the Hamster wheel my legs Charlie horsed. So after 30 minutes of the worst pain I have felt on the hamster wheel, I got off. Then in the shower the Charlie horse came back. It was a rough night.

Friday’s workout rocked, my legs were sore however after the first ten minutes the soreness went away, and I just sweated my ass off! Damir pushed and pushed and pushed! That hour flew by. Then it was time for my weekly weigh in. Now I only weigh once a week, every Friday at 5 minutes to 6pm. I jumped on the scale excited to see how my body did this week. I did my part; I was on the ball with the food. I slipped up only once this week with the food. Walked 23 km on the hamster wheel, and had some of the best workout I have ever had. So I did my part, Damir did his, but did my body do its job. Nope! I stood on that scale and it stop Bam 438.... Same as last week! That is when it happened Damir said something I never thought he would say “No Gain, No Loss, Good Job” at first I was not sure that what he said “no pounds up on your low week is good before you would go up ... I am happy with no gain” not sure he said it exactly like that but that was the just of it.

Now in the past... if I had no loss I would have pulled Iphone and I would go over my food log and exercise log and try and figure out where I went wrong. Then while in the shower beat myself up over everything I did wrong. But this time I did not need to go over my logs, because I knew I had done everything that I could do to lose weight. My body just needed more time I guess. So I enjoyed my shower like I had lost weight and I did not panic and call Holly, I just texted her “No Gain, No Loss, But next week will rock” and I left Alive with a smile.

I still have 18 pounds to lose before I hit my First year’s goal. I have 4 weeks to do it in. Next week I am going to try and step it up a bit. I plan to walk 35km on the Hamster wheel next week. I know Damir plans to step it up next week as well. To that I say Bring it on!

It feels great to know I have worked my ass off this week, and for the first time I can say to myself those 6 little words “No Gain, No Loss, Good Job” Because that is still a pretty good battle I have just won!!

So I am going to continue, like the great line from my theme song as of late

“No chain no lock and this train won't stop!
We got No fear No doubt all in balls out” - Burn It to The Ground

30 Days

30 Days

I have been on this weight loss road for 11 months. On my journey I have met some amazing people. They have become a Team Brian. Supporting me with the tuff stuff, there are the pros, Family, and friends.

The Pro’s

On my team we must start with Damir, wow what you say about one of the people saving your life. Well to start from the beginning he did not see a 500 pound man. He just kicked my ass from the start. He seems to think I can do almost anything, sometimes it works out and we rock it, then there are other times when I am just not ready to do it, and when that happens he is very patient try’s to modified it to work or we move on it in a positive way. However when I do something, I could not do before he is more excited than me sometimes. Also on my pro team is Holly, also one of the people saving my life. She has put together a very easy food plan that even I can stick to. Also like Jillian from the biggest loser she takes care of all the head shit I have. But unlike Jillian she rocks it without raising her voice. Also she pulls me in when I fall off course. Also on my team is Kendra, who kicks my ass once a week in her Kickboxing Class, she push me with the cardio beyond my limits with crazy interval workouts and is always smiling. We can’t forget Ben, or as I call him “the Kristy whisper” he is very motivating. Always in a good mood, and always makes me feel great about myself.

The Family

My family has been for the most part great support. My super Wife is very awesome; she supports me in many different ways. First she keeps my diet on track. She listens to me vent when I have a bad day. She also pushes me to Alive on the very few times I don’t feel or want to go. She does so much more! She just rocks! Mom and Dad help by giving me encouragement when I need it most. Maggie is the inspiration to keep moving.

Friends

I have met many great people at Alive, Jen who also gives me a lot of encouragement, and pushes me to get on the hamster wheel when I don’t want to. Kim and Shaimaa, who are great to talk to and makes me feel like a rock star. Leah who likes to push me past the limits I have chosen on the hamster wheel and the Stairs. Many Many more who have helped me at alive. Ryan who is my training Partner and my Best Friend who keeps pushing me to go harder. There are many many more !! thanks everyone.

I have 30 days left until my Alive Birthday, 18 pounds to go to break 100lbs! I can see it happening, I have become so strong and confident in the last year it is amazing!